I love football. Every Sunday of mine from the months of September – January are spent watching football. Not only is it the biggest sport in America, but I have been playing this game since before I was born; so you had best believe I know a lot about football. But one thing I have always wondered is “What is the worst team of all time?” 

I originally wrote an article for my school’s website about this topic, but it wasn’t until now that I realized it was slightly flawed. So why not correct my mistakes with a full-length in-depth article about all the teams and how utterly garbage they are?

Before we hop into the article, let’s establish a couple rules:

1. The team has to still be playing by the time this article comes out.
2. I will try to be as objective and unbiased as possible, but I am a Packers fan; so forgive me if it seems like I’m being too hard on any specific team.

There will be four separate ways a team is scored. 

1. Most memorable seasons. 
2. Age of the team. 
3. The team’s win percentage. This means that if your team’s win-loss rate is under 0.5% they suck. 
4. How many Super Bowl wins they have; I will not be including pre-1966 championship games. That being said, let’s get into the worst teams in the NFL.

   32. ARIZONA CARDINALS

This team is garbage. While they have not had a winless season before, they have only been to one Super Bowl–which they lost. They have the second-lowest win rate in the league at 0.425%, and are the oldest team in the NFL. The Arizona Cardinals cannot do anything, will not do anything, and were moved all the way to Arizona because the NFL knew keeping this team in the middle of nowhere is the safest spot for it. Next.

31. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

Originally, I had the Buccaneers at the 32 spot for two main reasons: they have the worst win rate in the league at 0.387% and are one of the only three teams with a winless season. But they have won a Super Bowl in 2003, and are actually looking good this year for once. Maybe now, they will stop being the NFL’s biggest lolcow.

30. DETROIT LIONS

Let’s all be honest with ourselves, the Lions have been the laughing stock of the NFL for quite some time. They have never been to a Super Bowl and are the second of the only three teams with a winless season. Not to mention their win rate is at 0.457%, putting them at the 25th spot. And after completely wasting Calvin Johnson’s career, it doesn’t seem like they’ll be getting anywhere anytime soon.

29. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

This team is stuck in NFL purgatory. With a win rate of 0.440%, the Jags have also never been to a Super Bowl. There isn’t much to say about this team other than they have only ever had one or two good seasons. You can expect them to secure the bottom spot of the AFC South this year.

28. ATLANTA FALCONS

The Falcons are a disappointment on many levels. Not only did they blow a 28-3 lead in Super Bowl 51, but they also have a win rate percentage of 0.448%, despite being around since 1966. Honestly, the one thing that the Falcons are best at would be disappointing me every sunday.

27. CINCINNATI BENGALS

The “Bungals” are commonly known for getting destroyed by the 49ers in every Super Bowl they go to, as well as being overall basement dwellers. They only have a slightly higher win rate than the Falcons at 0.449% and are now officially doing worse than the Browns. Although it does look like the team is stepping it up with a new quarterback, I doubt they will be making the playoffs anytime soon. 

26. HOUSTON TEXANS

It’s hard to hate on a team that has only existed since 2002. Actually, they have had a few strong playoff appearances and one of the best defenses in the league. But seeing that their win rate is only 0.455%, they obviously aren’t good enough. Sadly, this doesn’t seem to be changing anytime soon.

25. CLEVELAND BROWNS

Ah yes, the factory of sadness. A 0.487% win rate, a losing season, and they have never been to the Super Bowl. Honestly, I wanted to put the Browns lower on this list, but the team is looking up. With a 5-3 record to start off this season, it’s starting to look more and more like the Browns will reach the playoffs–only time will tell. For now though, it’s back to the underground for them.

24. NEW YORK JETS

The Jets are a catastrophe on many levels, not only having a 0.450% win rate, but it seems as though they will suffer a losing season this coming year. The only thing holding this franchise up is the fact that they won a Super Bowl in the 1960s. Also, the coaching staff is a train wreck, so they deserve to be in the bottom of their division for a very long time.

23. BUFFALO BILLS

The Bills are a rough franchise. They have been to four Super Bowls all in the span of a decade and all of which they lost. And with their sub-par win rate of 0.468%, this team is officially solidified as a laughing stock. 

22. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

This one surprised me at first, despite this team being pretty dominant this past decade, they have only a 0.461% win rate. The Saints did win a Super Bowl though (even if they didn’t deserve it, I hope they get hit with another hurricane for what they did to Brett Farve). So I don’t think the Saints deserve to be too low on this list.

21. TENNESSEE TITANS 

The Titans are a rough team to place. While they have been to a Super Bowl and are looking to go again, they only have a win rate of 0.484%. And the team is pretty bad at working with COVID regulations properly, so that loses them a few points.

20. CAROLINA PANTHERS

Despite being one of the only four teams to have a 15-1 season, the Panthers are a mediocre team to say the least, not good, nor bad. They have been to a few Super Bowls but never won one. This team is the epitome of the middle ground.

19. LOS ANGELES CHARGERS

The Chargers not only have the worst owner in the NFL, but also have a 0.499% win rate, just one yard short of being something. It pains me to say that this team will never be anything, but it is the sad truth.

18. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

The Eagles are a relatively cool team. Despite having a 0.491% win rate, they have done the impossible and beat the Patriots in a Super Bowl. Also, this team has one of the coolest Super Bowl rings, so props to that.

17. WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM

The “Redskins” are the only team to sport a 0.500% win rate, and they have won three Super Bowls. The only thing keeping them this low is the fact that their team name is horrible right now. 

16. LOS ANGELES RAMS

The Rams are a team with a 0.503% win rate and one Super Bowl under their belt. This team also has had one of the best offenses in the league being almost unstoppable at one point, until they lost in the worst Super Bowl ever, deducting them a few points.

15. MINNESOTA VIKINGS

Despite having the seventh highest win rate at 0.547%, the Vikings are another out of place. Like the Bills, they have been to four Super Bowls only to lose all of them. Also, the team hasn’t even been back to one since the 1970’s, so I doubt they’ll be going anywhere anytime soon.

14. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

With their 0.528% win rate and two Super Bowl wins, the Colts are nothing short of a good team. Even if they haven’t done much since Peyton Manning, he left them as a franchise to be remembered.

13. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

The Seahawks have a 0.514 win rate and have actually won a Super Bowl. The only reason why this team isn’t in the top ten is because they haven’t really been good or been known up until the 2012 season.

12. LAS VEGAS RAIDERS

The Raiders have a 0.522% win rate and have taken home three Super Bowl trophies. Pretty good, but sadly not top-tier level.

11. CHICAGO BEARS

Da Bears are the 4th highest team in the league when it comes to win percentage with a win rate of 0.563%. The only reason why I am not including them in the top ten is due to the fact that they only have one Super Bowl win. And when we are talking about the best franchises in the league, that’s not a very good look.

10. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

The Chiefs just took home their second Super Bowl win and have a win rate of 0.532. Not to mention that their coach is probably the coolest guy in the league with his Waffle House menu. 

9. DENVER BRONCOS

The Broncos not only have a 0.533% win rate, but they also have three Super Bowls under their belt. But recently, they have been lacking in the winning department, and it doesn’t look like they’ll be going back anytime soon.

8. BALTIMORE RAVENS

Although the Ravens have only been around since 1996, they have already collected two Super Bowl wins, and have the fifth highest win rate at 0.559%. This dominant team also was gifted with the best linebacker to ever step foot on the field being Ray Lewis. Lewis is the most-respected man in all of football, even dodging murder charges.

7. MIAMI DOLPHINS

While the Dolphins have faded into mediocrity these past few seasons, they have a rich history. They are the only team to have a completely undefeated season, and have brought home two Super Bowl trophies. They also have the sixth highest win rate at 0.552%.

6. NEW YORK GIANTS

The Giants have four Super Bowl wins and a win rate of 0.533%. The main reason why they are so high is because Super Bowl 42 is the greatest Super Bowl to have ever been played.

5. PITTSBURGH STEELERS

Even though the Steelers are one of only two teams to win six Super Bowls, they have a surprisingly low win rate at 0.532%. Also, most of the players in the famous steel curtain were on steroids at the time, so points will be deducted for that.

4. GREEN BAY PACKERS

Even though the Packers hold just four Super Bowl wins, they have the second highest win rate of any team at 0.567%. And it pains me to keep them out of the top three, but these other teams are just too memorable.

3. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 

The 49ers hold five Super Bowl trophies and are one of the most dominant teams in the NFL, with a rich history of owning the 1980s. But sadly their win rate is only at 0.534%, so it will have to hold this team back.

2. DALLAS COWBOYS

The Cowboys have the highest win rate in the NFL at 0.572%, and they have five Super Bowl trophies. The only thing holding them back is the fact that the other team is slightly better. Also screw Jerry Jones. That guy sucks.

1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

It pains me to put this team at number one, but this team has been extremely dominant these past two decades. In twenty years they have gone to ten Super Bowls and won six. They also have the third highest win rate at 0.564%. Even if they are a bunch of scumbag cheaters, they are still winners, and that’s why they are number one on this list.

But anyway, that sums up this list. Tune in next time when I rank every single student in the class of 2021 based on cumulative GPA.