A lot of people like Star Wars, myself included. Not only are the movies some of the highest grossing movies of all time, but the stories and characters are very interesting. With that being said, Disney is killing this franchise. Ever since George Lucas sold out and signed over the rights of Star Wars to Disney, the series feels like nothing more than a sappy cash grab. 

While we do have some good Star Wars content coming out like the mandalorian, the movies feel like nothing more than a misplaced fanfiction. So today I will be giving you my thoughts on every “main” Star Wars movie, from worst to best. (This means I will not be covering Rogue One or the Solo movie, mainly because they are not of great importance).

EPISODE VIII, THE LAST JEDI:

This movie sparks a certain rage in me every time I hear its name called. I do not want to make this article extremely long, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. This movie was doomed from the start. Once they decided to switch directors in the middle of a three-part series, I knew it was over. Let me talk about some of the worst things this movie decided to do in its PAINFUL two-and-a-half-hour long runtime.  

Firstly, Luke sucks in this movie. I can’t believe they took one of the greatest characters in all of cinema, and turned him into an annoying cry baby old man. His entire story arc in the sequels is training Rey for 20 seconds then not showing up to fight.

Next, we have Rian Johnson basically ending all the potential Fin had as a character. He basically becomes the laughing stock of the series, which is especially sad once you realize everyone thought this poor guy was gonna be a jedi. I find it odd that a billion dollar company that says they are “against racism” makes the only main black guy run and yell for most of their trilogy.

Thirdly, we have the decision to kill off Snoke. You know, the one guy that was supposed to hold up the series; and be the main reason why they were fighting. Well, Mr. Johnson decided to “subvert our expectations” by randomly killing off the most important piece to the movie. I honestly can’t believe the people up at Disney looked at this and thought, “yeah this will make us a lot of money.”

Let me be clear: I like Rian Johnson as a director. Knives Out was probably one of the best movies of 2019; but wow, he was nothing but dead weight to this series. I would talk more about the horrible choreography, the filler content, and how horrible Rey’s character is, but I don’t want this to be a 25 page article, so let’s just move on with this. 

EPISODE IX, THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

Once I saw the title card to this movie, I knew it would suck. “The dead speak!” Is that really how you’re going to start off a movie? Anyhow, this movie is a dumpster fire. It’s so hard to describe this movie in words honestly. 

The idea of healing through the force pretty much breaks the whole series as we know it. The fact that the emperor survived ruins not only Vader’s sacrifice, but this trilogy, and the original as a whole. And of course they killed off Kylo Ren who was the only good part of the sequels. 

The plot really makes no sense, the entire movie was rushed, Rey can just harness force lightning because “she’s so powerful on her own.” The main characters treat C-3PO like garbage. Snoke makes no sense anymore, and the “they fly now” line still makes me cringe to this day.

The only reason why I didn’t put this movie lower is because it’s not the movie’s fault that it’s bad. JJ Abrams had nothing to work with after The Last Jedi, and it really shows. I’ve watched this movie twice already, and I honestly never want to see it again. Let’s continue.

EPISODE II, ATTACK OF THE CLONES

While this movie isn’t on the same level as episode nine, it’s still not very good on its own. I do have some nice things to say about this movie though. The third act of this movie is simply amazing; I will always love seeing all the Jedi fighting together at once. The movie’s score is exceptional too, as well as the fact that this movie does a very good job at world building.

Although the movie just isn’t very interesting at first and has too many plot holes. Like, if Jango Fett made the clone army, why not keep it for himself? Why couldn’t Yoda just destroy Count Douku on the spot? Why is Jar Jar Binks still a thing? And much more.

Also, the first two acts are too slow to care about. The lowest point of the movie easily being when Anakin talks about how much he likes sand for whatever reason. So much of this movie just feels long and uninspired, and it really holds the movie down.

EPISODE VII, THE FORCE AWAKENS

This movie is mediocre. There I said it, it is the epitome of meh. Han Solo and Chewie are easily the best part of this movie, and Poe actually feels like he fits in with the story. Finn is at his best in this movie, and BB-8 played a vital role; unlike every other movie he’s in. 

What really makes me not happy with this movie though is how much it ripped off of A New Hope. Just take every aspect that made A New Hope great and flesh it out to make it insanely average and bam, you have The Force Awakens. 

Also, you really mean to tell me Rey won that battle; even though it was her first time using a lightsaber? Really? But hey, it’s “a movie made for kids” and I should stop whining over fictional details, anyway.

EPISODE I, THE PHANTOM MENACE

I understand most people hate this movie, and I do agree it could have been done way better; but something about this movie really sticks with me. I think it’s a great re-introduction into the series and it has some moments that probably outshine parts of the original trilogy. 

Such moments include the iconic line “now this is pod racing” and when Darth Maul turned on his double bladed lightsaber. Liam Neson does an amazing job in this movie as Qui-Gon and adds some unexpected life to the character. Also the Darth Maul fight is amazing, and Duel Of the Fates is the greatest song in the series.

I think the biggest flaw with the movie is Anakin’s character. Making him a child makes no sense to the greater plot of the story, and it really makes the queen look like a pedophille. You hate to see it folks.

EPISODE IV, A NEW HOPE

There’s not much to say about this other than, it’s the first Star Wars movie. The score is amazing, and I can’t really remember a scene that I didn’t love. Mark Hamill did an amazing job as Luke, and Carrie Fisher (bless her heart) is probably one of the bigger reasons why this movie is one of the most popular of its time. 

Obi Wan’s death scene was a Cinematic masterpiece and the journey George Lucas takes us through is quite an adventure. This movie would go on to shape what we know as cinema for decades to come.

EPISODE VI, THE LAST JEDI

The Last Jedi is a great ending to an amazing trilogy. This movie rarely ever had me feeling bored. Vader’s redemption arc is amazing, and I cannot begin to tell you how nostalgic this movie makes me feel. 

The opening act with Jabba the Hutt is great, and the score to go along with is exceptional. The final fight scene between Luke and Vader was the greatest of its time, and I really wish we would’ve gotten more scenes like this in the later movies. Not to mention Yoda’s death is still a very emotional scene to this day.

All in all this movie is great. Probably in the top ten films to come out of the 80’s.

EPISODE III, REVENGE OF THE SITH

I know a lot of people tend to dislike the prequels, and I don’t blame them. There are moments in the series where George Lucas could have done things waaaay better than he did. The writers needed something to dig them out of this hole, and honestly; this movie is just that.

The addition of General Grievous to the series is probably one of the best things Lucasfilms has ever done. He gave a lot of needed life to the story and was probably one of the most interesting characters in the sequels. Also, the Palpatine x Yoda fight still holds up well 15 years later.

Thirdly, order 66 is an amazing sequence, nothing scares kids more than watching their favorite heroes get gunned down by unwilling soldiers who don’t know what they are doing. While Anakin turning to the dark side did feel a little rushed, the execution was beautiful nonetheless. Also, the younglings had it coming.

While the prequels are a joke to some, I feel that this movie is one of the best pieces of Star Wars media to ever come out. Only to be beaten by one movie in particular.

EPISODE V, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

If you’ve seen Star Wars before, you probably know why this is here. Not only does it have the best score of any of the Star Wars movies, but it definitely has the best plot and outcome. 

The battle on the snow planet on Hoth was amazing. My favorite part was when Han pushes Luke inside an animal’s intestines in freezing weather. The scene where Han gets frozen is also terrifying, so thank you to George Lucas for giving me nightmares as a child. 

Of course we can’t go without talking about the “I am your father” scene. This scene is a pop culture phenomenon, and I still hear the quote brought up to this day forty years later. Nothing spells Jedi like Luke going through an insane amount of training with Yoda only to get his hand cut off by his father.

Anyways, this is my list. If you disagree with me that’s okay; it’s not like every list is gonna match with everyone’s beliefs. Also, I had to shorten this a bit mainly because I don’t want this to be 20 pages long like my last list. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed, and merry quarantine.