The Meghan Mullaly You Don’t Know


Madilyn Moore, Writer

Meghan Mullaly is not who you think she is. When a person sees her, they usually assume that she is kind and caring.  Those facts are true, yet she startled me today. She is a pretzel hating activist.

Mullaly was only four years old when this fear/hatred commenced.  At a local carnival, a man dressed as a pretzel walked up to her with a pet squirrel on his shoulder.  The squirrel started violently throwing mini pretzel bites at her. She’s “been traumatized ever sense.”

As I spoke with her, she was quite vicious when I would bring up that I enjoyed pretzels.   She told me that as she attacks pretzel lovers, they ridicule her for hating such a silly thing.  That, however, has not stopped her from starting an anti-pretzel group. There are “currently three other members, not including myself, but it is growing.” She hopes one day it will become its own safe haven for people around the world who share the same loathing or fear of pretzels.

Even though she dislikes pretzels, she regularly visits a psychologist that specializes in the field of gluten-phobia.  The last thing that she wants to come from this hatred of hers is savagery. She fears that if she doesn’t keep herself in check it may cause bigger issues; however, at the moment Mullaly seems to be mostly calm and collected.

While the smell of pretzels makes her feel like vomiting, that isn’t the full truth. She admitted to me that pretzels do look extremely delicious.  The idea of dipping savory dough into cheese dip thrills her. It is quite concerning to think that the president of an activist group even imagines such positive things about the prime object they are opposing.

This  pretzel hating activist is the side of Mullaly that no one wants to see.