The Astrology Brothers…Where Are They Now?


Jacob wendt, Joe Bidens right hand man

             The Astrology Brothers were two of the most mysterious people on SHS Today. Nobody knows their names or where they are. This made them become some of the most influential people on the site They were even known to accept bribes if a certain person wanted their week to turn out well. Rumor has it that one of the brothers isn’t even male, how mysterious. Recently they disappeared, going off the grid never to be seen again….

              However a clue has come up. An “anonymous source” stated that the brothers are still a part of the journalism class and both are active on the site today.

              Due to this intriguing information, I have fully dedicated myself to discovering where the brothers are. If we can finally expose who these two are, we can discover their true intentions behind making everybody have a bad week. To do this I began by interviewing people. Here is the entirety of my first interview with Jonah Linquist, word for word.Me: “Who are the astrology brothers?”

Jonah: “You and kylie.”

Me: “Get out of my sight”

             Of course this is a lie. How could I possibly be someone I’m chasing after? This is madness! I declared Jonah as a traitor against everything that is holy. But his mention Kylie had me skeptical.

Me: “Who are the astrology brothers?”

Kylie: “That is confidential information that only citizens with level 37 security clearance can know.”

             Sadly, I only have level 36 clearance. But through a lot of pushing and constantly annoying her for days on end, she confessed. 

              She told me that she was an Astrology Brother. She also mentioned that her fellow brother was Lucas Brockman after about 6 days of searching for clues. Scoob and I found the criminal, and it was in fact, Lucas. In court Brockman pleaded not guilty and is now serving twenty to life. Legend has it that Kylie Mullaly escaped from a high security prison after only 3 days, and Jonah Linquist was thrown in jail for six months for being a traitor and was eventually shanked by a fellow inmate with a toilet paper mache knife.

              It seems as if this case has finally come to a close…or has it? As we speak I have broken Kylie out of prison. That’s right I AM THE OTHER ASTROLOGY BROTHER. HAHA. YOUR ALL FOOLS. WHILE YOU WERE READING THIS ARTICLE, WE HAVE ALREADY SET UP THE NEW ARTICLES…THIS WEEK…SAGITTARIUS DIES!!! HAVE FUN WITH YOUR BAD WEEKS FOOLS!