Finland does not exist



Clay Petersen, Man of Controversy

Finland- a country with roots that go back as far as the 1800s. However, some people theorize that the country may not exist. With a population of five million people, there could be a chance of an error in counting. Some even say Finland was created as an extra pawn for Russia to use in war. 

The status of Finland’s existence has been questioned since World War II, but in 2015 Reddit user Raregans brought this debate into the spotlight. He presented his theory and evidence to the internet, where it was then spread and debated by viewers everywhere.
In World War II, a Russian message was intercepted which spoke of a secret stretch of the Baltic Sea between the Sovitet Union and Sweden. Russia made up Finland in order to obtain control of the area to keep the fish-rich waters for themselves. 

Also, Japan was in on this deal, as they did most of their fishing in those waters. By claiming Finland existed, they could keep what they caught without having to adhere to international fishing laws. This explains the massive boost in Japan’s fishing industry after World War II.

Additionally, Finland was made up to be a blockade to prevent invaders from approaching Russia’s weakest border. Due to the high mountains, it is difficult for Russia to create a strong line of defense, making it an extremely vulnerable area. So, as anyone would, Russia created the illusion of a country between itself and Sweden. Thus, everyone believes that in order to invade Russia from the west, they have to first overtake the small peaceful country of Finland. So, in the words of the great Jack Black “Ski-doosh”

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Now, smooth-brained members of the “I’m Dumb Society” may raise the question about  the 5.5 million citizens currently living in Finland. These citizens simply think they live in Finland, but they really live in northwest Russia.

These same people may also say (with a nasally tone): What about GPS and satellite photos?  Simple answer. Nearly all of the photos taken of Finland are seen and revised by the Russian government long before the are brought to the public’s eyes–giving the Russians ample time to modify and alter said photos. The same goes for GPS. it would be easy for the programs to be altered, showing that one is standing in Finland when, really, they are in an entirely other country. This theory is air-tight, and any holes you find have been poked by you.

The final reason of Finland’s non-existence is the most solid of all, the fact that all of Finland is simply an error.  Nearly all governments have a 1% error rate, and so does the UN who is in charge of counting a country’s population. With Finland encompassing less than .0006% of the world’s surface, and the population of a mere 5.53 million people, this means all of Finland could be in this 1% error. 

Finland itself could simply be an error in calculations. It could be nothing but a failure to carry a 0 in the complex calculations made every single day. 

So does this country that has been included in the history books for hundreds of years really exist? No. Well, maybe. This was an article about proof of concept. Finland may exist, and it probably does. But this was an article about how, given the proper facts, any case can be made. Nothing is one hundred percent. Not even the existence of an entire country.  In the words of the great Gustave Flaubert,¨ There is no truth. There is only perception.¨